One of the most beautiful things about motherhood is how each one of us has a different story. But, on a deep level we are all the same. We all felt this calling to become mothers, and we are united by this journey. That sense of camaraderie is a treasure I will always hold dearly. Watching your friends and family grow into the women they were made to be is quite remarkable. My cousin Erin is a creative, like myself. When we were kids we would spend hours coming up with dance routines, or writing stories. She has quite a way with words, and I am so thrilled to share her #motherhoodmademestory.

Here is Erin’s Story:

When I think back on the person I was before I had children, I feel a quixotic blend of emotions. I feel an indulgent nostalgia for her naivete. I cringe in embarrassment at her self-centeredness. I envy the spontaneity that could, occasionally, characterize her life. Of course, there are other pleasant feelings of nostalgia that come with thinking about that time in my life, but there is one thing I can say without the shadow of a doubt: I am glad that I am no longer that person.

Eight years ago, that person became a mother. She has greeted a love so intense it can’t really be categorized or quantified. She has gone through many sleepless nights, diapers that would not hold their contents, and many, many tantrums. We all remember those tough days when the littles were really little. Those are the days when we learn that someone else’s needs can, for a season, supersede our own. Those are the moments we learn that the idealized mother/child life we dreamed of may not have been the most realistic. And spontaneity...well, everything about children, from planning for them, to trying for them, to making a routine for them once they’re here, all factor together against an unplanned moment. 

Yet, just as those struggles grow us in ways we couldn’t imagine, the joys that come with the job certainly stretch us as well. I will never forget when my oldest child learned to read after months of going through his primer, both of us patiently sounding out letters. Watching him explore the library stacks is a treat. Our children’s growing interests can make us experts in so many things (video games, trains, Spiderman, unicorns, and hairbows…). My three year old approaches life with uncontained enthusiasm every day. A trip down the freeway is magical. My ten month old can certainly tell you the joy of a shared interest and that sometimes a french fry is all you need to turn your day around.

I think that if the girl I was before I had children could see the three people who have been added to our family, she would feel a sense of accomplishment for having made such awesome kids. But the woman I am now knows better. You see, those three children have shaped me into the woman I am today. Motherhood made me. It will continue to make me. I am ever so thankful for the process of making.