3 Tips to Help You Choose the Most Qualified Caregiver
Hiring a caregiver for your children, pets, or home can be a stressful process. You’re trusting this individual with your most precious possessions, and you need to feel confident in your decision. My family and I recently had a traumatic experience with a well-respected individual, whom we hired to house- and pet-sit. We came home to a feeling of total shock, disbelief, and violation. But, it also opened our eyes to how easily we, and countless others, trusted this person.
Our experience got me thinking- how do you properly vet a caregiver? Most of us will rely on recommendations from our friends and fellow parents, but this doesn’t ensure the person has gone through any type of vetting process. My husband and I have rarely needed to hire caregivers due to family living nearby. But in the few instances that we have had to, I’ve never gone further than a simple inquiry to my local mom groups, or circle of Mom friends. I have tremendous trust in (and respect for) these women. But I now know that further action is required to ensure my family’s safety.
Here are a few simple steps that can help when hiring a caregiver:
1) Use a Trusted Service
There are a handful of websites out there, and this is another area where you can ask for recommendations from friends. Find out which site your fellow Moms have used, and start there. But, be sure to choose one that provides access to background checks – a bonus if they include a Safety Guide (like this one found at Care.com) to help you in the decision making process. The background checks typically pull from multiple sources, so you can see information from criminal, motor vehicles, and sex offender databases. These sites do much of the major vetting for you, allowing you to almost immediately move on to the next two steps.
2) Have an In-Person Interview and/or Trial Run
No matter where you found the candidate, it’s important to meet with him or her before the actual start date. Create a list of questions, do a little sleuthing of their social media pages beforehand, and be open to answering their questions as well. Even if it’s just a quick date night, set up a meeting and lay down some ground rules. The latter being something I hadn’t thought necessary until very recently. Sure, you need to give details on food allergies, bedtimes, and medications, but it’s also extremely beneficial to have an agreement with the caregiver about their own acceptable behavior. You can find examples of Babysitter Rules online, but here are a few that I personally feel strongly about:
No Visitors
No Drugs or Alcohol
How (not) to Discipline
No Outings (unless agreed upon like visiting a nearby park)
Many of these are specific to caring for children, but can be tailored to your needs. If you’re looking for a more long term nanny, setting up a trial run after the initial interview is recommended. You can decide on a working interview, where the caregiver comes a couple hours each day, for four or five days; or a one-week trial of your regular schedule. These are paid, thus you’ll want to ensure you’re pretty confident with your pick before getting to this point. Once you’ve completed these steps you should be well on your way to hiring your very own Mary Poppins.
3) Trust Your Gut
If there is ever a time to trust your instincts, it’s when you’re hiring a caregiver. If you, your children, or your pet(s) are at all uncomfortable with the candidate, do not hire them. You may have to start the process over again, but that uneasy feeling is there for a reason. Ask your kids for their feedback, and monitor how your pet behaves around the person. If your child is too young to give a formal opinion, ask him or her some questions about the caregiver – Would they be okay with that person putting them to bed? Do they like playing with the person? Don’t put so much pressure on needing to make a decision that you force a fit. Take the time, listen to your intuition, and be confident in your choice.
Remember that caregiver horror stories are not the norm. Luckily, it’s pretty rare to return to a trashed house and a stranger sneaking out the guest room window. But it is always worth it to properly vet a person before welcoming them into your home. These steps can eliminate much of the worry, and will help you make an informed decision on who you trust to care for your loved ones.