Finding and Embracing Your 'More' in Motherhood

If you’re familiar with the personal development genre, then you’ve likely heard of Rachel Hollis. She’s a high energy, honest gal who is widely known for the tagline “Made for More.” But, as a mother, this concept of more has sparked a lot of introspection.

More Isn’t One Size Fits All

Moms are often grouped into two categories: working, or stay-at-home. And try as we might, there are still ‘mommy wars.’ There is judgement of what the right decision is. And ladies, we are all guilty of this, no matter which side we fall on. We forget that we are making choices that are right for our families; not what society, or friends, or loved ones tell us is right.

But that’s part of the problem. When we become mothers, we are expected to fit into these preset categories. If you’re a stay-at-home mom then your desire for more should look like going back to work. If you’re a working mom, you may feel pressure to seek more from your role within the home. There is seemingly no way to win.

Finding Your More

I have loved being a stay-at-home mom. Maybe not every minute of it, but I am very thankful that we chose this lifestyle for our family. I am also grateful that I continually have the chance to dig into what my more is. I’ve gotten to channel my creativity through writing, and get out of my comfort zone as a member of a direct sales company. I’ve been able to serve what I believe is my life’s greatest purpose, while also finding myself.

The evening I became a consultant with Rodan + Fields, I sobbed to my husband that I was afraid by signing up, our son would somehow think he wasn’t enough. Now mind you, I was taking on a new project that wouldn’t change our daily life in any way. I could “work” from my phone or laptop, and the business model is set up so you get out what you put in. And yet, I felt incredibly guilty. Motherhood fulfilled me in so many ways, but I did need something else. I needed something for myself. As guilty as I felt, I knew that it was not only okay to want this, it was also normal. In that season, R+F provided exactly what I needed. An outlet to use my brain in ways other than preparing snacks, and singing the ABC’s. It allowed me to connect with other women, to advocate for self care, and to challenge myself. Direct sales might not be your thing. Writing might not be your thing. Maybe your thing is knitting hats, or painting, or volunteer work, or serving as the president of your favorite local organization. Each of these examples of more are valuable, and beautiful in their own way.

Exploring my more has gotten easier as our kids have gotten older. In the early days, there was no time or space for this. I may have heard the call in that season, but it was muted due to the cries of little children, and I simply couldn’t answer it. I think the timing of our more is important. It might not strike all of us in the same season of life. Some know before the birth of their baby what their more is. Some hear a call when they’re buried in dirty diapers and onesies. Others hear it when their kids start their school careers. More may not look the same for each mother, but I’ll bet there is a call for each of us.

We Are More Than Mothers

My motherhood journey is a source of tremendous joy and happiness. It is my greatest accomplishment. That will never be overshadowed by any of my other projects or passions. But, I now have a deeper appreciation for the concept of more in motherhood. We are mothers, yes, but we are also women with aspirations and a call to never stop searching. To never stop finding and living our own truths. I am grateful that my more still allows me to be home with my kids while they’re little. I’m thankful I have a supportive husband and circle of family and friends, who encourage me and lift me up.

Whatever your more is, I hope you don’t shy away from it. I want you to welcome it with open arms. I hope you find a corner of your motherhood puzzle where it can fit, and that when you step back to admire it, you see how much more beautiful the masterpiece is because of it.