I'm a Dreamer, But I Know I'm Not the Only One

“Each of us was born to bring forth something that has never existed: a way of being, a family, an idea, art, a community—something brand new. We are here to fully introduce ourselves, to impose ourselves and ideas and thoughts and dreams on the world, leaving it changed forever by who we are and what we bring forth from our depths.” - Glennon Doyle, Untamed

I recently had to submit a bio for a project that’s incredibly dear to my heart. I channeled all of my favorite sisters as I wrote it, and I could visualize Brenè, Glennon, Jen, Marie, and Rachel throwing virtual high fives as I hit that send button.

But then I clicked on the website. I felt myself physically shrink as I read the long list of names, and their accompanying profiles. These people were legit. They had accolades, and special degrees, and tons of followers. I’m just a stay-at-home mom with a dream! I immediately started to panic. What am I doing?! I’m not qualified for this kind of thing. Who wants to hear what I have to say? The negative self talk continued.

After sitting in my puddle of shame for a while, I sent another email. I acknowledged my feelings of inadequacy, and asked if we could revisit my blurb to “fluff it up a bit.” I received exactly the response I needed. This person’s words picked me up off of the floor, and ensured me that I am just as good as the others. With or without special titles or recognition.

I reread my piece, and had to laugh at the irony. Here I was telling others to share their story, to not play small. But I was cowering in the corner because I felt like an impostor. If I’m going to talk the talk, I better learn to walk the walk! (This is true of many areas in my life. My husband is constantly reminding me that I preach a lot about asking for help, and accepting it when it’s offered, but I’m horrible at taking my own advice.)

It’s important to remember that living authentically, speaking one’s heart, and confidently sharing what we create is a practice. It’s a muscle that needs exercising. It’s not just an attitude you can adopt that magically becomes part of your daily life. You have to be here for it. You have to work at it. And you have to practice that wisdom you’re underlining in all of your beloved self-help books, Caitlyn.

I shared my feelings of inadequacy with my husband recently, and being a fellow motivational fanatic, he gently reminded me that we all have to start somewhere. Comparing myself to others is pointless and it serves no one. Many of my favorite leaders and authors openly share their own struggles with shame and feeling like an impostor. And yet they keep writing. They keep speaking. They keep owning and sharing their stories.

So, here I am, daring all of us to be brave, to imagine, to create, and to share our gifts.

“You have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.” - Katherine Center

Glennon Doyle’s latest book, Untamed, has a chapter on imagination. The entire book is pure gold, but this is one of the chapters that lit up my soul. She speaks of imagination as a language. She emphasizes the importance of creating and living from our imagination, rather than our indoctrination. “We are all bilingual. We speak the language of indoctrination, but our native tongue is the language of imagination.” What an incredible concept. Perhaps if we could let go of the societal expectations and norms we’ve been conditioned to follow, and tap into our native tongue, then everyone would feel free to truly be.

“You, you may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you will join us
And the world will live as one”

(Solt, Andrew, Sam Egan, and Yōko Ono. Imagine: John Lennon. New York: Macmillan Pub. Co, 1988. Print.)