Moms Need Screen Time, Too {How to Balance It With #Momguilt}
Screen time.
That dreaded phrase. It carries a negative undertone, and can be an immediate source of judgement and mom shaming. Too much; exposure to the “wrong” games or shows; potential harmful side effects – it’s no wonder this topic can be a source of stress for parents. So, what about our own use of devices and “Mommy’s screen time?” If you’re anything like me, your #momguilt kicks in even when it’s you picking up the device.
Parents Need a Break, Too
But, here’s the thing: I need to use this magic multi-tasking tool to get stuff done. Do I also indulge in the scroll hole of social media? Yes. But, that’s one area I’m working on in 2019. I want to be more present in all aspects of my life, and it serves no one to get lost in the posts and comments filling my Facebook feed. But, I also understand that I need those breaks throughout the day. Raising tiny humans is exhausting, and parents need at least a few minutes of a mindless activity to help get them through to bedtime.
Using Screens for Business Building
Aside from the mental break screen time can provide, my direct sales business also relies on use of my devices. Like so many of my friends, I’m trying to build a successful business in my limited free time. The beauty of these MLM gigs is that they can fit into those nooks and crannies of your life. But that does require sharing an image here, or messaging a potential customer there. Even though these are revenue-producing activities, I am still filled with guilt when I pick up the phone.
Balancing Screen Time with Mom Guilt
How do you balance the need for screen time and the guilt over not constantly tending to your children? I’ve been struggling with this question recently, so I did some soul searching and spoke with a couple Moms who have felt similarly. One of my dearest mama friends also happens to be a successful blogger/entrepreneur. There is one snippet from our discussion that really stood out to me. She said, “Balance is not a real thing.” Once she accepted that fact, she took that knowledge and focused her energy on prioritizing and making choices. Since we simply can’t do it all, it’s a better use of our time to prioritize our responsibilities.
It’s like the studies on multitasking. True multitasking is not a thing, either. Difficult though it may be, we must make a choice: work now, play later (or vice versa). There will always be parenting tasks that take precedent (i.e. butt wiping, which ironically always happens at the least opportune time). But by making that choice (and doing so before the day even begins), you set yourself up for success. You can plan ahead, prepare your little ones, and hopefully cross some things off the to-do list.
There Are Other Things Deserving of Your Time, Too
I also chatted with my sister, who has remained one of my most cherished confidantes since childhood. *As a side note, if you are lucky enough to have older siblings who are at different stages of life and parenting than you are, go to them for wisdom!* She presented a great point that can be difficult to process when you’re in the trenches of stay-at-home momming – “You are with your children the majority of the time, and there are other things that are also deserving of your attention.” It is okay to step away and take a break, or accomplish a task.
She also shared that, “it’s more impactful to focus on the times when they are asking for your presence. There are windows of opportunity for connection with our kids, and as parents we need to notice when they are really reaching out to us.” As toddlers, they ask for/need you ALL the time, but there are still moments that are more meaningful than others. Not sending that reply immediately, to watch your kiddo ride their bike for the first time: important. Watching them spin their beyblade for the 100th time: maybe that one can be prioritized differently.
Make the Choice and Release the Guilt
Consciously making a choice to put work (via screen time) ahead of my children is often difficult for me. But I’m realizing that this practice is actually more beneficial to all of us. If I try to fit things in randomly, I end up feeling scattered, frazzled, and short fused. If I dedicate specific times to completing my tasks, I feel more accomplished and ready to take on my other responsibilities. And by accepting the fact that there are other things also deserving of my time, I can release some of that guilt.
Do a Periodic Digital Detox
I will also share that I think periodic digital detoxes are a fabulous way to refresh and truly be in the moment. I participated in one over the Thanksgiving holiday, and it was great! Browse Pinterest for guidelines, and recruit a few friends as accountability partners.