Combat Stress: Simple Self-Care Steps You Need in Your Life
A specific phrase stood out to me during a conversation with a friend recently. She mentioned self-value, and I’m pretty sure my brain buzzed at the term due to my recent cognitive activities in soul searching. My role as a mother hasn’t left much time for self-care; thus my self-value has also suffered. As a parent you instantly learn to put your needs last, and it’s extremely difficult to do otherwise (enter the term “Mom-Guilt”). But, I started to think about how even the simplest of things, like getting ready in the morning, are an example of self-value to me. If I get up and put on some real clothes, I feel like a new woman. Don’t even get me started on showering and styling my hair (or wearing makeup!).
These small steps, which feel daunting due to lack of time and/or energy, can make a huge difference in how I take on the day. And I think I’m actually a better mom because of them. I’m learning the importance of teaching my children about self-value, and that I need to demonstrate it myself. Seeing their mom looking frazzled and frumpy certainly doesn’t encourage them to care for themselves. I want them to feel strong and confident, and present themselves in that manner. So, I have to lead by example.
You Cannot Serve from an Empty Vessel
I’ve been on a bit of a mission lately to advocate for self care, especially for mothers. I found this quote from Eleanor Brownn that has become like a mantra – “Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.”
You’ve probably seen this quote pop up on your social media feeds or on Pinterest. Once I became a mother, these words reached me on a whole different level. There’s a reason you’re told to put your oxygen mask on FIRST. Despite the importance and logic behind that message, it can still be so difficult to commit to caring for ourselves. But, why?
We Put the Needs of Others Before Ourselves
As parents, we take on the role of Caregiver the minute we meet our little human(s). Everything changes in an instant. You’re now responsible for a life other than your own. Your mind and body are stretched to limits you didn’t know they could survive, and your well-being becomes less important. Here lies the problem. We tend to fall into that habit of letting ourselves go because we don’t have the same self-value we once did. We put the needs of others ahead of our own so much that we experience burn out, or worse, our health suffers. How can we serve others when we are in this state?
Break the Cycle
We need to break the cycle. We must let go of the guilt and take time to replenish our souls. This doesn’t have to equate to attending a week-long retreat (unless that’s what your mind and body need). There are easy self-care steps you can take each day that will help prevent burn out, and leave you feeling refreshed.
Girl, Wash Your Face
Like many people, I love to follow the blogger/entrepreneur extraordinaire, Rachel Hollis. But aside from being a total #fangirl, I’m using her book title for a reason. Self-care can be that simple. Put the kids to bed and take five minutes to enjoy those beauty products that are probably collecting dust in your bathroom drawer. Washing your face at the end of a long day can be a very cleansing and rejuvenating experience. Plus, sleeping in your makeup wreaks havoc on your skin, so you’re doing yourself a favor both mentally and physically.
Deep Breaths
The science behind deep breathing and its benefits is pretty amazing. Some may think this is common sense, but I ask you – when was the last time you took a really deep breath? Not just the normal in and out you need to survive, but an intentional deep breath to help you thrive? There are many breathing techniques and practices you can follow, but you can begin by simply incorporating deep breaths into your daily routine. Folding laundry – take a deep breath. Driving the kids to school – take a deep breath. This action reduces stress and anxiety while increasing the supply of oxygen to your brain, which promotes a state of calmness. A simple (and free) act of self-care.
Stretching
My friend is a massage therapist in Sonoma, and she shared a graphic recently explaining the benefits of the child’s pose stretch. Doing this pose for five minutes per day is not only extremely calming for the mind, but it’s also great for digestion, it elongates the lower back, and opens the hips. Yoga is a wonderful way to eliminate stress through movement. If you’re not able to make it to a class, you can stream videos online and do them in your own home. As with most self-care, the simple act of setting aside time to tend to your mind and body is a huge step towards replenishing your soul.
Find Your Thing
I have a sincere love for writing and have always found it quite therapeutic. I’ve never been as good at expressing myself in spoken word as I am with writing my feelings. This is a creative outlet for me that also serves as self-care. It’s something I do just for myself, and I have to dedicate time to complete it. Your thing may be reading, drawing, sewing, or exercise. The point is to find something that fuels your passion and make time for it. It might not happen every day, but if you can set aside a few minutes each week, you’ll find yourself feeling more inspired and motivated to tackle what lies ahead.
Self-Care is Not Selfish
I’ll bet there was a time in your life where taking a yoga class, getting a massage, or grabbing a cup of coffee with a friend didn’t leave you feeling guilty; it was part of your normal routine. And your metaphorical cup was full. But somewhere between infancy and threenager, those things became a luxury you stopped allowing yourself. I get it. But, in order to be the parents our children need, we must care for ourselves too. Not only do we need to set a good example for these little sponges, but we also have to maintain a healthy lifestyle so that we can be there for them physically and mentally. A gym membership or monthly massage may be outside of many of our means, but a few deep breaths and washing your face at night are both affordable and totally attainable. Take the time, focus on yourself for a few moments, and better manage that stress level.