Unpacking Mother Mule with Jamie Brooke
Hi, friends!
Welcome to ‘Unpacking Mother Mule’ with Jamie Brooke.
What a treat it is to share a guest post from my dear friend, Jamie. She is a fellow creative, and children’s book author, with a passion for storytelling. We’ve had so many soulful conversations about this very topic recently, and she graciously offered to share her thoughts with us. I hope you enjoy this beautiful post.
‘Unpacking Mother Mule’ with Jamie Brooke: Storyteller Expert, Author, and Podcast Host
A Bit About Jamie
Jamie Brooke is a storyteller expert and wellness enthusiast with a background in psychology, design and yoga. As a best-selling children’s book author and podcast host of Heal Your Story, Jamie helps humans harness the power of their story. Jamie is also the Founder and Owner of Brave Moon Co, a podcast production company helping powerful humans share their stories with the world.
How to Heal Your Story Through Self-Awareness
We have 6,000 thoughts in a day. To put it in perspective, imagine if you earned a dollar for every thought you had. That's almost $2.2 million a year. That's a lot of thoughts (and a lot of money)! The most important thing you'll ever learn in this life is you don't have to believe every thought that comes through your mind. Why? Because your thoughts are not necessarily the truth. Some of your thoughts aren't even yours. Thoughts that you experience are made up of ideas, opinions, and beliefs you have accumulated about yourself and others throughout your lifetime. Thoughts culminate from cultural beliefs, genetics and physical conditions. The thoughts are then fed through your emotions. In other words, where you grew up, your unique hormonal makeup, or even a bad mood will affect the thoughts that play through your mind. And all of these interplay with one another to form your thoughts.
“Your thoughts are not necessarily the truth.”
Therefore, it is inaccurate to believe that every thought through your brain is the absolute truth. What about the thoughts that play in the 7.7 billion other people in this world? 7.7 billion other people think differently and believe differently than you. Are they wrong? No. Not any more than you. This means that all of our thoughts are inexact in the very nature of what they are. Not right, not wrong; just not entirely to be trusted at face value.
This is precisely why I like to call thoughts ‘stories' instead. Somehow we bind ourselves to our thoughts, but if we think of them as 'stories', can we detach from them a bit more? Can we listen to the stories we're telling ourselves and ask what purpose they serve us?
“Are these the stories I want to tell myself?”
This is the gateway to self-awareness. And when we access self-awareness, the world opens up to us in a more significant way. We open up to ourselves in a bigger way. When we can reflect on our own stories, we can ask questions. Are these the stories I want to tell myself about myself? About my partner? About my family? Work? The world?
It makes you wonder who's actually the one reflecting on your stories, right? That's you. The true you.
Try it now. Do you have a thought that appears frequently? Take a moment to write them down. Or better yet, as you go about your day, hear the thoughts that make you feel bad about yourself and the world around you. I call those automatic negative stories [ANS].
As an example, I'll share the ANS' I tell myself most frequently.
I have to do everything around here.
I am not smart enough.
There is something wrong with me.
Do I have a purpose?
I'm not making enough money.
I catch myself when I have an ANS as frequently as I can. So, for example, when something happens to me that makes me jump to my ANS of "I have to do everything around here," I catch it and ask, "Is that right? Are you absolutely sure that's the truth?"
“If I am, in fact, taking on too much of the responsibilities in my household, who can I ask for help?”
Often, I end up having a bit of a funny conversation with myself. But always, my true self knows the answer. "No, I cannot be absolutely sure that's the truth." It helps me calm the story I'm telling myself that the world around me is solely on my shoulders. From that place of tenderness, I can see that the event that caused my ANS had nothing to do with my actual responsibilities. I can also separate myself from the emotions attached to the story and logically think of solutions. If I am, in fact, taking on too much of the responsibilities in my household, who can I ask for help? If I cannot ask anyone for help, what responsibilities are absolutely necessary? Can I, for example, complete the laundry once a week instead of twice a week and will my family survive? Can I set the kids up for a cheeky television show while I watch my own without feeling guilty? You will find through self-awareness (and self-compassion!) that there is always space to tell a different story.
The most important thing to remember on the journey to healing your stories is that there is no destination. It is a journey. You may or may not fully cure your automatic negative stories in this lifetime; that shouldn't be your expectation. So many people have lost their way, falling into that belief and believing they somehow failed. You cannot fail in this journey as long as you keep coming back to your self-awareness.
Questioning your stories will be a lifetime project. But I promise that with self-awareness, your stories' power over you will back down. Your stories will trigger you less frequently. You will find more contentment throughout your day. This is why the journey is worth it.
I ask you now, what stories will you heal?
Be sure to check out Jamie’s work and follow her on social: